Everyone has a story, and it’s time for me to share mine.
Welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I share my thoughts and wisdom I have gained through my journey in time. I hope that as you read you feel seen, experience healing, and realize that every moment is a drop of gold in the grand timing of your life. I hope my words empower you to take on each day without any limitations, no matter what challenges you face.
I’ve lived through many experiences, but one thing has stuck out to me: there is so much more to learn. So join me, every month, as I explore through time.
Spend Time With Your Vision
Purpose brings you to life, vision keeps you alive.
Purpose brings you to life, vision keeps you alive.
I think of vision(s) as the different assignments you’re responsible for in each of the different seasons of your life. Every assignment will lead you to achieving the greater mission of your life: your purpose. The different visions you have throughout your lifetime are the puzzle pieces that form into your purpose.
For the sake of making this post as clear as possible, from here on I'll be referring to vision in the singular sense (you can insert one of your current assignments and treat it like a case study).
Intimacy with the vision.
A vision is dynamic, or at least it should be. If you were to look at it like any good relationship, you'll realize that your vision has it’s own identity and you need to get to know its persona, in the present and over time.
There are many faces that your vision takes on, and each will look different through the different seasons of your life. It's important that you know your vision inside-out, front and back, up and down, side to side. Know it like the back of your hand! The more you know about your vision, the longer your connection to it will last.
Caring for the vision.
Vision can be one major assignment that represents the reason for your existence. Alternatively, vision can be limited to just the next year, two years, or five years.
Either way, it is absolutely critical that you:
Spend time with it.
You need to visualize what the vision looks like, and that includes knowing who will be impacted by it, what sacrifices will you have to make, and who will be involved in actualizing the vision.
There's no way I'm revealing a guy’s face on IG on the first date. Y'all won't even know I am dating anyone until we are engaged, maybe even married. That's the energy you need to have with your vision.
You need to be really solid with it before you soft launch it to the world.
Write your vision and make it plain.
Keeping it as thoughts in your head isn't nearly enough to feel connected to it. It needs to become tangible before it manifests into reality.
If you loved someone but only spent time thinking about how much you loved them, and never actually told them, that wouldn’t be real love. That's cognitive dissonance lol. You need to pen down everything you have visualized to help make it clearer to you and anyone you choose to share it with.
Protect it at all costs.
Your vision will become a significant asset to your identity, so best believe that life will test it. There will be many situations that cause you to doubt it and push you to the point of giving up but it is your lifeline. It is critical that you guard it from opinion, trends, and norms.
Some people may know I'm in a relationship (I’m not), but that doesn't mean I welcome or care for their opinion. Even if they tried to share their thoughts, I wouldn't take it to heart and I would respectfully shut them down so they know not to share it again.
It takes a certain level of ruthlessness to sustain a vision. Don't be afraid to do what it takes to protect it.
Walk in it with confidence.
Don't be afraid to live out your vision once it is solidified. Imagine being in a relationship for three years and not a single soul knows. That's suspicious, and I would suspect that you are ashamed of your partner.
See your vision the same way. Feel free to fully live it out passionately and obsessively.
Evidence of Life
Your vision is your proof of life, so it needs to be evident in your time, speech, and actions.
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It’s Time To Come Alive
For so long, I've been fascinated by the concept of purpose, both for myself and people that I’ve chatted with. However, I battled figuring out how to live with purpose on a daily basis.
Hand on heart, I just started living my life this year.
Before I woke up to the true essence of living, life had been happening to and around me. For so long, I've been fascinated by the concept of purpose, both for myself and people that I’ve chatted with. However, I battled figuring out how to live with purpose on a daily basis.
From my understanding, purpose and productivity are two sides of the same coin.
Productivity
It's become such a taboo word, which is understandable because capitalism has us in a choke hold. Nonetheless, I view productivity from a value standpoint. Productivity isn't about being busy or having things to do that you can tick off your to-do list throughout the day. Productivity is in the impact that I am having in the area of my calling. That sounds very intense but it's actually quite simple.
Purpose
It’s your reason for being; it’s IKIGAI!
Do you have an area you are passionate about?
Do you know what you are good at?
Do you know what the world needs?
Do you know what you can get paid for?
The Ikigai framework. Save this and fill it out for yourself.
Do you know who you are called to serve? Are you focusing on that area of calling?
Don't be discouraged if you don't have the answers to all these questions. In fact, if you have no answers, that's perfectly fine! Now you have a reason to search yourself out! Take some time with yourself and observe your interests! Step out of your regular routine and try new things!
You can also study what you currently have going on at work or in extracurricular activities. There's a chance that there are some aspects of your life that you may need to consider focusing more on. I am a strong believer in using every opportunity to develop transferrable skills you need for your area of calling. It could be communication, people management, even discipline. Every opportunity can produce a seed that needs to be planted when the time comes for you to blossom in your destiny.
As the year winds down and you begin to plan for the upcoming year, I encourage you to take some time out to ponder on these questions. Living an intentional life is easily achievable. It simply requires you to seek out purpose and aim to align your daily priorities with that which you are here on earth to achieve.
Timecheck
It may take you some time but it is well worth it.
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Two-Timing Tasks
I've always considered myself to be quite terrible at multitasking. I was never one of those people that could have Grey’s Anatomy playing in the background while studying, and those FaceTime study dates were definitely not the best use of my time.
When multitasking actually improves effectiveness.
I've always considered myself to be quite terrible at multitasking. I was never one of those people that could have Grey’s Anatomy playing in the background while studying, and those FaceTime study dates were definitely not the best use of my time. The other person would end the call telling me how much they had gotten done and I'd be there looking at myself like…
But I've recently come to realize that there are certain tasks that I am more productive doing while engaging in another activity.
Yes — there is lots of scientific research that discourages multitasking to improve efficiency; however, I’d like to argue that some tasks paired together allow us to get work done easily.
There's something special about being active while thinking that opens up my mind creatively.
One of those activities is walking. There's not a single time I've regretted going on a walk. Something about being outside and surrounded in nature grounds my thoughts and pulls me back into the present.
What we have coined as “brain fog” is simply the disconnect of your mind from your current reality. I notice that my mind often wanders, taking me either to past memories or future worries, which is very disruptive to my ability to focus. So, I find that putting my body in motion wakes my mind up and allow me to draw inspiration to creatively produce in my current reality.
Another task I've found helps my mind focus is cooking.
There's something about creating something that helps me focus when I'm trying to absorb verbal information. I spent about 60% of my time learning the all the content for an exam while cooking. I think being in an environment where I knew I had control over what was going on helped still my mind from wandering towards anxious thoughts. I can be in the kitchen for hours (until my feet start aching), in my own world, having the time of my life.
A hyperactive mind needs to be stimulated up to a certain level in order to focus.
Here's how to know which tasks to combine for peak productivity:
Something you can do for hours + something that you find difficult to do for a long period of time.
The combination of a pleasurable activity and an activity that may feel stressful helps your mind remain engaged for longer periods of time.
Something that requires 80% of your attention + something that requires 20% of your attention.
You don't want your mind to be overstimulated...you need to find a balance between both activities. While some people don't find it overwhelming, I personally cannot study and watch a show at the same time. That's just too much going on. Test and try what works for you!
Someone that can keep you accountable + something you've been putting off for awhile.
There are some people that you should never be around when you're trying to get serious work done. There are also some tasks that you should prioritize when you are in a co-working environment. I only try to do serious work with people when I know they are on the same wavelength.
TO WRAP THINGS UP
Remember to find sources of joy as often as you can in order to initially motivate you and keep you focused while executing tasks.
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It’s Time To Get Out Of Your Head
I've decided to leave my perfectionist bag at the door and step into this with vulnerability. With the way I was moving, I wouldn't have anything to post by the date I was set to. Not because I lack inspiration or the desire to write but there's a way I want you guys to experience my writing that kept me stuck for so long.
Stop wasting time trying to be perfect.
I've decided to leave my perfectionist bag at the door and step into this with vulnerability. With the way I was moving, I wouldn't have anything to post by the date I was set to release this blog. Not because I lack inspiration or the desire to write, but there's a way I want you to experience my writing that kept me stuck for so long.
I have a thing for wanting to be so unique and different from what anyone has ever done, so I typically spend more time thinking about how to do things in a manner that's out of the box, than just doing it in a way that's actually easy to execute.
I also have a fear of not getting disappointed by the outcome of my work that I work on planning perfectly than actually executing. The core of this fear is tied to caring too much about what people are receiving from me.
A recent day in my life.
I recently felt inspired to share a day in my life at church, just to give people a bts of how much work, fun, love, and time goes into everything we do. I posts started off strong aka very put together and perfect in my opinion so I felt good about it. But by the fourth post I started to feel extremely drained. Why?
Putting myself out there without much thought. I generally like to curate people's experiences of me in a way that leaves them in awe.
Putting myself out there, period. I like to brand myself as mysterious to keep people curious about what I do. Writing that out sounds so lame but hey, I'm being honest.
What I was posting wasn't translating the same way I had it in my head. Like how the way I speak Yoruba in my head does not sound anything close to how it comes out of my mouth. I had a vision of what I wanted to show and how I wanted to describe things in a captivating way, but in my mind what I posted was so bland.
The anxiety was through the roof by the end of that day.
*it’s anti-black to look at my ashy fingers for longer than .5 seconds*
How to break free from your own negative thoughts:
Talk about it!!! The only reason I’m able to write this is because I had a conversation with a friend about how I was feeling about an hour ago. That conversation helped me gain perspective on a few things: 1) It helped me identify that it was perfectionism that had me stuck. 2) It guided me on how to release the hold fear had on my ability to share openly. 3) It grounded me by reminding me why I'm doing this. Although I’m always trying to convey my thoughts in the most unique and stand-out way, my main focus is the impact, and simply sharing my experience is impactful.
Change your environment to match your flow. I’m currently typing this on my phone while laying on my bed in my dimly lit room and a few candles next to me. Initially, the pressure to be perfect had me hunchbacked in front of my computer at my desk. That environment kept me in the mindset of professionalism; like my work was going to be reviewed or graded by someone. My current posture helps me relax my body, which translates to the ease with which I am able to express myself.
This is your sign to stop caring too much.
Especially about things you are naturally passionate about. Don't allow perfectionism to diminish the passion you have. When all is said and done, people will remember how they felt when they experienced you more than how you packaged yourself.
Authenticity Over Performance
Authenticity will stick longer than a performance. Focusing on performance is not only draining for you, which will limit how long you can sustain your passion, but it will also diminish your impact on the people you intend to reach. People can always smell fake from afar.
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