It’s Time To Get Out Of Your Head
Stop wasting time trying to be perfect.
I've decided to leave my perfectionist bag at the door and step into this with vulnerability. With the way I was moving, I wouldn't have anything to post by the date I was set to release this blog. Not because I lack inspiration or the desire to write, but there's a way I want you to experience my writing that kept me stuck for so long.
I have a thing for wanting to be so unique and different from what anyone has ever done, so I typically spend more time thinking about how to do things in a manner that's out of the box, than just doing it in a way that's actually easy to execute.
I also have a fear of not getting disappointed by the outcome of my work that I work on planning perfectly than actually executing. The core of this fear is tied to caring too much about what people are receiving from me.
A recent day in my life.
I recently felt inspired to share a day in my life at church, just to give people a bts of how much work, fun, love, and time goes into everything we do. I posts started off strong aka very put together and perfect in my opinion so I felt good about it. But by the fourth post I started to feel extremely drained. Why?
Putting myself out there without much thought. I generally like to curate people's experiences of me in a way that leaves them in awe.
Putting myself out there, period. I like to brand myself as mysterious to keep people curious about what I do. Writing that out sounds so lame but hey, I'm being honest.
What I was posting wasn't translating the same way I had it in my head. Like how the way I speak Yoruba in my head does not sound anything close to how it comes out of my mouth. I had a vision of what I wanted to show and how I wanted to describe things in a captivating way, but in my mind what I posted was so bland.
The anxiety was through the roof by the end of that day.
*it’s anti-black to look at my ashy fingers for longer than .5 seconds*
How to break free from your own negative thoughts:
Talk about it!!! The only reason I’m able to write this is because I had a conversation with a friend about how I was feeling about an hour ago. That conversation helped me gain perspective on a few things: 1) It helped me identify that it was perfectionism that had me stuck. 2) It guided me on how to release the hold fear had on my ability to share openly. 3) It grounded me by reminding me why I'm doing this. Although I’m always trying to convey my thoughts in the most unique and stand-out way, my main focus is the impact, and simply sharing my experience is impactful.
Change your environment to match your flow. I’m currently typing this on my phone while laying on my bed in my dimly lit room and a few candles next to me. Initially, the pressure to be perfect had me hunchbacked in front of my computer at my desk. That environment kept me in the mindset of professionalism; like my work was going to be reviewed or graded by someone. My current posture helps me relax my body, which translates to the ease with which I am able to express myself.
This is your sign to stop caring too much.
Especially about things you are naturally passionate about. Don't allow perfectionism to diminish the passion you have. When all is said and done, people will remember how they felt when they experienced you more than how you packaged yourself.
Authenticity Over Performance
Authenticity will stick longer than a performance. Focusing on performance is not only draining for you, which will limit how long you can sustain your passion, but it will also diminish your impact on the people you intend to reach. People can always smell fake from afar.
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